As a small charity, fundraising is hugely important to us. Without financial support, we can’t support our branches and volunteers in their mission to improve sex and relationship education in their communities.
That is why I decided that I wanted to do something big and weird and fun to raise awareness and get our wonderful organisation some much needed cash.
Having run a half marathon with one of my closest friends earlier this year for Coventry Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre (Link here if you still want to donate), I thought why not do another run.
On and off since June, I’ve had an injured foot and shin (whoops) and so I was a bit worried I wouldn’t be able to definitely be able to enter and complete another half any time soon. Instead, I decided to put my favourite Sexpression:UK costume to good use and run a 10k as a giant inflatable penis!
Over the past year I have spent much time in that costume and, trust me, it is not an easy thing to manoeuvre in. It’s loud, uncomfortable, blocks your vision, makes you very visible, and (most importantly) the holes under the balls where your feet pop out are very much below your knees. This presented a slight issue as one definitely needs semi functioning knees to walk, let alone run. Thankfully, my genius family found some old physio tape and helped me affix the offending testicles to my legs, above my knees, allowing me to run uninhibited (mostly).
Much to my disappointment, organised running events ease up over the winter time and so I couldn’t find one to do until April. This need not stop my as I instead chose to plan one of my own and recruited my friend and sister to run it with me. We planned a very special route (yes it in in the shape of a penis and yes we very much did that on purpose) around a very special place that we felt was perfect for such a challenge.
Greenham Common is a disused American air base which used to be home to the nuclear armed BGM-109G Gryphon Ground Launched Cruise Missile (GLCM). From 1981-2000 there was the infamous feminist Greenham Common Women's Peace Camp who stationed themselves around the base’s boundary to protest the presence of nuclear weapons and the wider approach to defence taken during the Cold War era. If you want to learn more about these amazingly dedicated women I would highly recommend watching “Mothers of the Revolution”, a 2021 documentary directed by Briar March.
However, to me this was just Greenham. It was a big and strange space near where I grew up, where I learned to ride a bike, and where we took our dog for her first walk almost 16 years ago and she fell into one of the ponds and shivered all the way home. I thought it was fitting to close one of the most adventurous and exciting years of my life, doing something I love, for a cause I deeply care about, at a place that means so much to me for so many reasons.
The Run
The day of the run finally arrived and reality began to set in as my friend arrived at my house ready to head off. The same questions spun around my head the whole journey there - “What have I signed myself up for, why on earth am I doing this??”. It didn’t matter though because before I knew it, we were off.
We had a stronger start than expected and were feeling rather optimistic about the whole thing until we rounded the bottom testicle and began to face the wind. Our two stunning costumes may have wowed our fellow Greenham occupants and a few slightly bewildered families, but they very much did not wow the wind as it decided to batter us for 3 straight kilometres. The tall and flimsy penis costume was comparable to a wind sock as it was so vulnerable to large gusts that I was battling to stay upright for most of the second quarter. My wonderful support crew were positioned just where I needed them and I was thrilled to be handed me my apple juice (to any runners, cyclists, triathletes out there - apple juice is the best race fuel you will ever have) and hear a few much needed words of inspiration and encouragement.
We battled on further and just as we settled into a nice rhythm and had worked out how to stand so as to best avoid the big wind gusts, the batteries started to run out. No need to worry though, as my vulva-clad friend raced off into the night (well, early evening but it sounds less dramatic) armed only with a head torch and a dream to retrieve our spare batteries. It was at this point that I started to feel tired and a bit sore from the costume repeatedly slamming into my head and the arm/leg holes slowly but surely cutting circulation to my extremities. Good thing I had prepared for this moment with a dependable playlist and I whacked on my go-to “I’ve hit the wall” song - ‘Dog Days Are Over’ by the indomitable and phenomenal Florence and the Machine. Hearing this song made me feel invincible and I powered through the pain and was only snapped out of my impassioned daze by the sight of a small light coming over the hill in front of me. It was my devoted knight in shining armour arriving to change the batteries and get the show back on the road.
The last 2.5k flew by as we were cheered on by our adoring fans (a small but spirited group of family and friends - and one or two baffled strangers caught up in the moment) and before we knew it, we had crossed the (invisible) finish line. Hugs all around, lots of water drunk, and (obviously) much stretching followed once I had wriggled out of my trusty penis.
Having done all that, I am so pleased and proud to say we have surpassed our fundraising goal! It was an amazing experience and absolutely worth it, I’m even willing to go so far as to say I would consider doing it again (though I would have to reconsider my testicle-affixing technique). I wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who supported me on the day and who supported me before and after through their donations and well wishes.
Please continue to give if you can, every little truly counts.
Find out how you can support us here
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