A Focus Group with the Care Leaver Covenant

Written by Chloë S

Care Leaver Covenant

The Care Leaver Covenant is a national inclusion programme. They create offers with organisations to help benefit care leavers in the lives that they are currently living and the lives that they are going to live in the future. These opportunities generally branch across five categories: those home, work, well-being, money and education.

Our focus group was within the education category, where we discussed the care leavers’ experiences of relationship and sex education (RSE) and how they think it could be improved, both in general and in relation to their experiences as care leavers.

What was your experience of RSE?

A strong theme was the lack of depth and quality in RSE, which was often reduced to biological basics. Many felt the teaching was outdated, inconsistent, and didn’t address real issues young people face.

One participant summarised it: “So we didn't really have a sex education lesson, to be fair. It was just, there you go. That was it.”

The absence of conversations around consent and safety was a recurring frustration: “I don't really remember being taught about any like consent stuff, like being told, oh, you know, it's not okay if someone does this or it's not okay if someone does that.”

Others reflected on how RSE often felt alienating or inadequate: “I wasn't really taught what sex is. I wasn't really taught it other than the labelling of the parts and things.”

How, if at all, was your RSE affected by being in care?

For care leavers, RSE was not just about school lessons — it was shaped by instability, absence of trusted adults, and cultural or personal barriers in foster homes.

One participant explained: “I feel like the curriculum sometimes assumes you have a stable family life as a foundation, which isn't always the case for people like me.”

The lack of a consistent support network often meant seeking advice in moments of crisis: “You end up going down to your residential worker at three in the morning and going like, ‘I'm bleeding, what do I do?’ instead of being able to go talk to your mum about it.”

Relationships with carers played a huge role — sometimes helpful, but often inconsistent or uncomfortable: “I had a really good relationship with my foster dad… but he would just say, well, go and speak to your foster mom about that.”

For some, cultural or religious environments also restricted open conversations: “When I got older and I went into foster care with my parents, I wasn't able to actually learn anything from them because they're Jehovah's Witnesses. So it was have sex when you marry. And that's really about it.”

This year’s theme for Sexual Health Week is ‘Chronically Online’, was your RSE influenced by the online world?

Most agreed that the internet filled the gaps left by formal RSE, though often with damaging consequences.

As one participant reflected: “I think most of the stuff I learnt was from online… some of it isn't quite as accurate online as it should be and you don't know that at first. For example, porn is nothing like sex and then you're like oh, that's not how I thought that would go.”

For some, exposure came much earlier and shaped their perceptions in unhealthy ways: “When I was about 12, pretty much a lot of my online stuff was porn.”

How do you think RSE should be improved?

The group called for RSE that is modern, practical, and consistent, going beyond biology to cover emotional intelligence, healthy relationships, and real-life skills.

One participant proposed: “It would be much better to have a single dedicated sex, relationship and sex education system that is tailored for care experienced young people, delivered by trade professionals who can build a trusting relationship with you over time.”

Others emphasised the need to move away from fear-based teaching: “I think RSE needs to move beyond a fear-based biological model and become a modern, relevant, and empowering program that equips young people with the skills they need to navigate their relationships and lives safely and with confidence.”

Practical relational skills were seen as just as important as sexual knowledge: “We should be taught how to build and maintain healthy relationships with friends and colleagues, a model on professional boundaries or how to communicate your needs to a supervisor.”

Closing Thanks

A huge thank you to the Care Leaver Covenant and all of the incredible young people who shared their stories so openly, honestly, and thoughtfully.